Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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