i barfeds in our rink
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
