apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
