I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
