She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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