p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
