i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
