she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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