we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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