I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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