Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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