i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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