You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
