don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
