i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
