how hairy? two words: wookie tits
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
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