"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
