why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
