He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
