Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
ugly people sure do ruin things
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
