He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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