Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
