I think I am morally bankrupt
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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