1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
