I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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