I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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