Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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