Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
