So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
ttyl tear gas
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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