nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
