You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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