what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
