this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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