I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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