do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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