I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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