2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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