It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize