I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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