Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
