U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Boobs speak an international language.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
