So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
