Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
