I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
