I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
