I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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