This girl is more easily done than said...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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