You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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