you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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