Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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